


The Start of Healing

by Loki_Fics (Scarred_Neptinite)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Humiliation, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Self-Hatred, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 17:12:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15999683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarred_Neptinite/pseuds/Loki_Fics
Summary: anonymous asked:“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned” for Loki with a s/o that he's having an affair with? >:)





	The Start of Healing

“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” You frown at the god of mischief as you dress. As much fun as fucking Loki was, that was the extent of your relationship. How could he even think he actually likes you?

“You don’t really know me.” You turn away, afraid to open your heart to the feelings you locked deep inside. There was no denying the sexual tension between the two of you when Thor brought him to Stark tower, but it was evident Loki felt he was above you. You tried to get to know him at first when he arrived two years ago. Every time, Loki scowled and insulted you, making you aware of how annoying your presence was. You suppress the hurt you remember feeling from his words.

_“You think you’re my equal? You will never mean anything more to me than a play thing! Just something to help me blow off some steam or get back at an ex!”_

“I should go.” You swallow your tears.

“(Y/n)!” You feel him grab your arm. “I did not intend to like you as much as I do.”

“Then let me help you by not coming by again and confusing you.” You cannot hold back all your tears and one slips. Loki sighs and pulls you to his bare body. “Let me go, Loki.”

“No.” He buries his face into your neck.

“I thought I was nothing more than a play thing?” You whisper. His arms tense, but otherwise he doesn’t react. “I’m tired, Loki, please let me go to bed?”

“Stay.” He kisses your shoulder. More tears escape your eyes as your façade crumbles. “(Y/n)?” Your nightly ritual of crying after entertaining him was interrupted, but your body didn’t want to wait any longer. The shame, embarrassment, self-loathing, pity, every emotion you felt after your stolen moments with him come crashing down as they always do. You try to run from him, but Loki drags you to his bed. “Have I hurt you this evening?” He admits what you two did was more rough than what you’re probably used to. He sees the bruises start to form on your arms and legs, no doubt there are more on your back, butt, and chest. Loki looks at you concerned. “You should have used our safe word, little one.”

“I-I’m fine.” You manage. “Please, just let me sleep.” You don’t meet his eyes, feeling so unworthy of even that action. You never had much self-confidence, but it was always worse after a night with Loki. You would shamefully dress silently before walking to your own room every time. Why did he try to change it? As awful as that ritual was, it was normal. You were used to it. Him spilling his guts about possibly liking you more than just for sex was not part of it. “ _Please!_ ” You beg. Loki studies you, trying to understand where this emotion is coming from.

“I will let you sleep, but here under my watch.” Loki lifts your shirt up and unclasps your bra. “I will take the floor if you wish it, my dear.”

“N-no, I will take it.” You stand to lay on the floor, but Loki pulls you back between his legs.

“Little dove,” he turns you to face him. “Look at me.” You hesitantly lift your head enough to look at his face. Loki sees your tear stained face, your eyes raw from crying. “What have I done that hurt you so bad?”

“You haven’t, Loki.” You look away again. “I am just not worthy of you and I’m sorry you waist your time with me.”

Loki can feel the pain in your voice. The broken soul that is beyond repair. You don’t need protection like he thought, you needed a healer. Someone who can make things right. Loki’s not sure if he is the right person, but he’s the only one who knows. “Darling, look at me again.” He makes his voice soft. You bite your lip before looking at him again. “I am the one unworthy of you.” He takes your hands in his. “I have been mistreating a beautiful soul for far too long, and I’m going to fix it.”

“You can’t.” You whisper. Loki puts a finger on your lips.

“I don’t know if I can, but I am going to try.” You start crying again. “Oh, little dove, how badly did I clip your wings?” He pulls you to his chest and you wrap your arms around his neck. Loki falls back into the bed and takes you with him. “I am not worthy to ask this, but I want to get to know you better. I love our moments together, and that’s why I keep ending every relationship I’ve ever been in these past few years.”

“Are you sure?” You swallow, not believing this is really him.

“Yes,” Loki pulls you up to his pillows. “Let me help you get comfortable.” With a snap of his fingers he is in sweat pants and you’re in one of his training shirts. “Look at how lovely that looks on you.” You blush and turn away. Loki curses himself for not realizing how badly he was tearing you down. “You said you need sleep right?”

“Yes.” You whisper. Loki pulls the covers up and spoons you. “Loki?”

“I need you, (Y/n). And I haven’t admitted it until now.” You slowly relax in his arms.

“Is this a dream?”

“No darling, I love watching you read in the corner of the library. I love watching your figure walk across the room, taunting me to take you again. I hate how others try to claim you in front of me and I need to let the world know who you belong to.” You don’t believe what you’re hearing. “You were a distraction from reality at first, but now all I want is to shout that you’re mine, to challenge anyone who tries to take you away.”

“Loki?” You turn around in his arms and see his eyes watering. “A-are you okay?” You’ve never seen him like this before. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do this!”

“You are the greatest treasure in the entire nine realms and I mistreated you in horrible ways.” You touch his cheek and feel the cold tears. “Please, forgive me, little dove.”

“I already have, Loki.” You whisper. “I always do.” He buries his face in your hair and cries.

“I’m not worthy of your heart.”

“You can become worthy.” You smile. “Starting tomorrow?”

“Will you teach me, little one?”

“If you wish it, darling.” You kiss him gently before closing your eyes. “Good night.”

“Good night, my goddess.” Loki watches as your breathing becomes softer and more regular. He swallows the guilt rising up. “I will prove my worth every moment with you.” Loki tries to stay awake to watch the peaceful scene next to him, but feeling your heartbeat against his chest and your breath on his neck lulls him to the first peaceful slumber he’s had in centuries. 


End file.
